Red Letter Day- Literally

So apparently, some mad men decided to threaten the Chief Justice of this sovereign nation. You’ve gotta ask, What in the Hell were they thinking!! I have seen the alleged letter doing rounds on twitter and all I could think of was, are you fucking kidding me?!! Honestly, I thought we had matured from the childishness and the stupidity that rocked this great nation after the last general election, but evidently, we are still a long way from that.

First, the writer should learn how to fucking spell and use some bloody tenses. Reading that letter, I could hear the screams of the English language as it was being butchered, and the sorrowful weeping my teacher of English would have made as she read it. The bastard, or bastards as it could well be, made my mind bleed. I could feel myself getting dumber with each sentence. I am surprised that that shit was actually typed!! Riddle me this, what the hell is that chicken-like scrawl at the bottom?

Whoever wrote that letter is a fucking psycho, and an ego maniacal narcissist. The over-exaggeration of self-worth, both in himself and his “organization” is damn near blinding! (and they said watching Criminal Minds wouldn’t help me) I especially disliked the part where he said tupende tusipende…Douche bag and his band of merry idiots are only about a million, we are 39 million. Do you honestly think we will idly sit here and let you burn our beloved Kenya over one insignificant motherfucker just because you think he should be president?! Get over yourself!

The interesting point though, will be how Kenyans react to this letter. I hope the rest of us are sober enough not to pin the actions of a few disturbed individuals onto a whole grouping of people. I hope that the sober minded people will offer guidance to the less sober… I hope Kenyans are mature enough to know the difference. I however appeal to anyone who might know who the fuck the author of that letter is, to suffocate the bastard in his sleep. It’s actually pretty easy; step 1, pick up pillow. Step 2, place pillow over his face and hold it down with force. Step 3, maintain pillow until bastard stops struggling. Step 4, keep it there a little longer for good measure.

Finally, Dear Makau Mutua,

Rookie move there from someone who claims to be a professor. There is a reason why sensitive documents are declassified after a period of time…to let emotions and passions die down. You do not toss a lit match into a powder keg of TNT just because you are a safe distance away. Posting that letter on twitter was not your finest hour. I would expect this of the not-so-wise general populous, but not someone who loves to portray themselves as above the rest, freedom of speech notwithstanding. For that, fuck you!

Going forward, I hope y’all practice speed of thought. As Eddie Griffin says, THINK! IT AI’T ILLEGAL YET. BUT THEY’RE WORKING ON IT.