Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large
crowd…that’s what my teacher used to say. Apparently, both he and the old wise
dude he was quoting knew what the hell they were talking about…
I would consider the occupants of the August House a crowd, a
very powerful crowd gifted with an incessant and severe lack of the common
sense, wouldn’t you?
Good, now that we are on the same page, here is my letter to
parliament; and since I am rather wasted on a concoction of very strong
spirits, I hope this looks good in the morning.
Dear
Parliament,
I think
the first order of business should my immeasurable gratitude. I would like to
thank you for exposing a very vital flow on the thinking of Kenyans. Beneath our
practiced and polished veneer of education and middle-class elitism lies the
rot of tribal alignment and well hidden bigotry. How else would you explain the
voting in of the less than honorable Liinturi and Duale? Thank you, for showing
us that we need to get our heads out of our backsides and actually see things for
what they are.
Having
done you a great honor in offering gratitude, let me air out my grievances …
You have
got to be the largest collection of gluttonous, self-serving and utterly and
irrationally cruel human beings in a world of a little over 7 billion. You have
continued to make decisions that are not in the interests of the people that
put you in the plush seats of that ultra-modern house and the powers that come
with them.
If y’all
are not arguing on who between the senate and yourselves should wear the big
boy pants, you are finding new ways of squeezing more money from our already decrepit
financial situations. First, you wanted to award yourselves huge payhikes from
the taxpayer’s pocket. When that did not work, you are now trying to detach yourselves
from being state officers. All this while, your promises to the medical
workers, teachers and other civil servants become irrelevant.
How the
bleeding fuck do you tax basic commodities? Then the prices on milk, bread and maize flour
have gone up.Then as if to add insult to injury, you, in the same week where
buying two packets of milk almost replaced owning an iPhone as a status symbol,
pack your bags and go on a state sponsored vacation to the Netherlands. What else
would you call that absurd solidarity trip to the Hague that will cost Kenyans
a whooping 150k a day per each of you insane bastards?!
Whatever the
case, someone please do something about some of your members. Someone should
contact the Governor for Nairobi county to restore Mr. Duale to default
settings. And along the same line, I do not condone gender based violence, but
if a heifer with a scary-looking hair piece comes to my office accompanied by a
host of goons yelling and throwing gang signs at me, I see how selective
amnesia could develop. All I am trying to say is, Dr Kidero, I understand.
The long
and short of it all is…can you bleeding nincompoops stop acting so damn
asinine!! And Mr Duale, there is no way in hell you are convincing me, or any other
right thinking Homo sapiens, that withdrawal from the Rome statute is in the
best interests of the country. Or that the “plight”(Notice the obvious “”) of
the ICC suspects is of such a detrimental nature to our lives that we should
rearrange the strucutres of this great nation to accommodate a few of people
charged under international law of CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY!! My answer to that
is simple….Go Screw Yourself!
There are a lot of things we could say about the MAAAAANY shortcomings
of our parliamentarians, and looking for positives would take an entire
lifetime, suffice to say, after these four nightmare years, let us put down our
respective differences in origin stories and vote in the right niggas (or
niggaresses) for the right reasons.
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